I try to be wary of dehumanizing those I’m in conflict with. But it’s very hard to understand the mindset of people who value guns over children’s lives, people who profess liberty but celebrate authoritarianism. I have a hard time seeing blatant hypocrisy and not attributing it to either Evil or an almost sub-sentient stupidity. It makes it challenging to profess the inherent worth and dignity of every person when this is how some people choose to spend their lives.
I grew up questioning authority. The people who raised me valued thinking for yourself. (Of course, they also raised me in the Catholic Church. Ask me if I had a fun childhood.) I understand GIGO. If you’re raised believing lies, it can be really hard to escape the lies, and if the tools of escape are forbidden, what can you do? So can you truly blame these destructive theocrats? They were bullied at every stage of life, using the carrots-and-sticks of patriarchy, white supremacy, and capitalism. If they questioned, they were punished, if they toed the line, they were rewarded. They were programmed to be as they are, so who can blame them?
Except we don’t accept “just following orders” as an excuse. We figure there is a spark of humanity in everyone, no matter how beaten-down. Maybe that’s not fair. Certainly the leaders of their movement, the ones who went to Harvard and Yale, had the opportunity to think for themselves. Even if their daddies didn’t love them, even if they were forced into prayer groups with religious extremists from day one. Becoming an adult means taking responsibility for your own brainwashing.
I do have compassion for those who are always at the bottom of the death cult, who are most likely to work hard against their own interests. They do seem like zombies, or robots programmed to destroy. I have a lot MORE compassion for the people they bully and hurt, though.
Our society built system-wide tools to try to keep people from becoming zombies. Free public education is supposed to give everyone tools for critical thinking. The social safety net was supposed to keep the masses from becoming so destitute they would rise up. But the same power base that always defended the ownership of people and the rejection of bodily autonomy sees these tools as a threat to their twisted values system. They want unthinking robots.
I was bullied as a child, and the older I get, the more I realize how that has colored my life ever since in ways I often don’t see. My experiences of being bullied were rich and varied. One kid who was new at school and harassed me on my walk to and from school every day–John Beckner–turned out he just wanted to be friends and only showed that through abuse. Other kids systematically targeted me for name-calling for years. Others were actively violent. I was a peaceful kid. I never stood up for myself. I literally believed the words of Jesus, to turn the other cheek, to give in.
And of course, that rewarded the bullying. That gave the bullies exactly what they wanted and it never once made me feel better. Adults accepted bullying as if not playground justice, at least harmless kid stuff. They’d been hazed or been bullies themselves as children (and most likely as adults, too), unquestionably.
We have lived with unacceptable behavior too long. We’ve let people hide behind dog-whistles. Now the chickens are coming home to roost. My first priority is not to find a cure for the zombie plague or to try to teach robots to love. Those are great goals, but what’s more important is protecting the people who are actively being killed and injured by zombies and evil robots. My whole life has been about holding off the storm, and some of that has been appeasement. I don’t want to be the last one saying “let’s just get along” when trans kids are being killed, when Black people are being shot in their beds, when refugee children are in cages.
I was always afraid if I stood up to a bully I’d get hurt. I was afraid if I lashed out, that would make ME the bad person. Instead I turned all that anger and fear inward. That never did me any favors. So let me draw the line here. My compassion has its limits. If you were raised in the death cult and so you don’t have the tools to find your way out of Trumpism, that’s tragic, sure. But it’s less tragic than the effect you have on the people you target. Fuck Jesus and his eschatological bullshit, we need to stand up and fight for bodily autonomy, for right and equality and REAL liberty for all folks, not the kind of “liberty” that says “I get to tell you what you’re allowed to do.”